Jumping off boat docks runs a very high risk of removing rings from one’s fingers. I mean one moment the ring is there snug and happy on your finger and the next thing you know, slurp, the lake monster sucks it off and swallows it whole. It’s not fair!
There ought to be warning signs posted on piers to warn would-be-jumpers about this potential hazard. Maybe such signage would have prevented Milwaukee resident, Juan Garcia, from jumping and losing his beautifully crafted 14K white-gold wedding band to the ring-slurping, ring-swallowing monster of Lake Beulah, near Mukwonago, WI.
Juan contacted me the other day to inquire if I might search for his ring. The nature of the search required that no discrimination be used on my Minelab Excalibur detector and so I was prepared for the usual accumulation of ferrous metal that tends to accumulate around boat docks like flies on a carcass. We are talking steel washers, screws, nails, bolts, wire, tools, etc. And I was not disappointed. Eventually, however, Juan’s ring appeared in my scoop! One very relieved owner couldn’t get it back on his finger fast enough! A good sign, I thought to myself, that all’s good at home. 
Thanks, Juan, for the privilege of searching for and finding your ring. So glad we were able to get Lake Beulah to cough it up for you. Thanks too for your generous reward.
And so the moral of this story if there is one, is this. Be sure to read the warning signs that are absent from boat docks before you jump off them. Just imagine they exist. They read, “Jumping off this dock with rings on your fingers may be hazardous to your marriage;” or something along that line. But if you or someone you know just didn’t see the sign, contact me. We might be able to coax the ring-swallowing lake monster to burp it up.
TESTIMONY
Thank you Paul again for your service. I have been married for 14yrs now. I was devastated when I lost my wedding ring and it was hard to think about living life without my original wedding ring. Now I can pass my original wedding ring onto my boys. Thanks again. God bless. — Juan Garcia
Way to go Paul! How deep was the water?